Sunday, March 8, 2009

Where is my mind?

Right now I'm having an 'out of body experience'
I don't feel like I'm inhabiting my body.
I'm making it move and i know that I'm here, but i just don't feel within it, just lingering above, like in movies when someone dies and a transparent version of themselves (the soul I'm assuming) sits up and steps out of the solid form.
It's bizarre, yet cool as.

Other strange things happen to me also, since i was young. Sometimes when someone is speaking- often to a group of people, it's not like tuning out but this person looks like they are really far away and therefore quite small. Once laying with my boyfriend it seems like he was this giant, and yet so far away from me that he was normal size, the same with my own hand, and it laying on the pillow next to me seemed 10 metres away. Though that would seem to freak e out I'm sort of used to it now. Though when it's so dark that my eyes seem closed when they are open, and it happens then- i get a bit nuts. In the dark you lose all sense of perception and i feel so tiny with huge spaces surrounding me, separating me from what's right next to me.

My boyfriend thinks it seems like dissociation, and i tried to look it up but there wasn't anything under dissociation that describes this (though the out of body thing is common), ideas? Oh, by the way I've never experienced any real trauma to cause dissociation

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