Tuesday, March 17, 2009

On the pains of an overactive imagination (take 2, but it's really 1)

Essay outline baby________

I have always been imaginative; making up stories to give a context to everything I see. A ring of daisies means a group of faeries (NOT fairies) have performed a midnight ritual to protect the house behind it, men loading furniture into a trunk means they are taking the owner’s belongings as a fulfilment of the gambling debt they owe. Now, because the current culture of fear is so commanding on many aspects of life my imagination has gone nuts. In my essay I will attempt to analyse the reach of power this culture has on my thoughts. The main impact I feel at the moment is the malevolent daytime visions I suffer from. It’s not just me thinking of horrible things happening to me, I see it, constantly.

It is quite easy to realise why such a culture of fear is so commonplace in society- control. Alan Moore’s dystopian graphic novel “V for Vendetta” is a perfect (albeit exaggerated) example of how this fear is imposed on others for the purpose of oppression. The questions this text raises are frightening, if fear is used now to gain support for war and to bring certain people into power, is it likely to just end there? I think not, and this is precisely what will be the death of me, or my sanity.

There are other numerous articles and books about this culture of fear, though with a strong focus on America, this heavily influences Australians as we are the puppy the Americans never had. Additionally one turns on their television to the news and night after night we are bombarded with wars, diseases, natural disasters and crime. How can anyone remain rational in such a hostile environment that we are so convinced we live in?

I will also draw upon Burthes concepts of representation and the ‘myth’, as this has strong connections to how the culture of fear is able to intrude every last facet of our lives.

But what I really want to find out is why and how this affects me so much, that irrational quality of myself that experiences such hallucinations: am I predisposed to reacting so strongly to external stimuli because I have always been imaginative? Am I only a product of my circumstances? Is what I experience essentially bad? Or does it contribute (positively) towards me being who I am? Will I ever be ‘normal’?

As this is a personal essay there are specific characteristics I plan on including. Digression is the first; this comes entirely naturally to me and no doubt will be in the essay whether I intend to or not. Secondly, the strong ‘I’ character is in focus- I say character because it is only a certain aspect of myself I am presenting, while it may be contradictory, I can also be quite composed. Other personal essay characteristics come into play: the central quality of truth telling, a confession of sorts of my morbid apparitions...

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